I want to be completely honest here, even though I’ve remained positive and hopeful in my posting, my life hasn’t exactly reflected that on a day to day basis. It’s been a rough few weeks and my progress has definitely slowed. I could tell I wasn’t doing as well with my eating and some days I was hardly putting any effort into my workouts at all. Then, this past Sunday I tried 3 different videos before I finally crashed and gave up.
There were a couple reasons for this sudden spiral but overall I was feeling overwhelmed in my personal life, unaccomplished in my new job search, and just not so happy in general. Not to mention, PMS can be a real bitch and hit at all the wrong times. My hormones being out of whack only added to the misery I was already feeling. I felt defeated and to be honest I didn’t want to even bother trying again because every time I did try I just felt flat on my face. It’s hard to get back up from those moments, it often feels like it would just be easier to lay in bed and cry. Truth be told, I did do that for a while.
Then I got the hell back up.
There is one thing I know for certain: you can make yourself do just about anything, even if you hate it, even if you don’t want to. If it’s something you need but it doesn’t come naturally then you’re going to have to force yourself sometimes. I have to remember this going forward. I’m getting better at working out and some days I really enjoy it but it still isn’t something that comes naturally to me. Cooking? Writing? Binge watching tv shows in one sitting? Those things I can do without much effort. Working out isn’t like that and it might never be but I have to keep trying. I have to make this time different and continue working for this change. I want it now more than ever before and that has to mean something.
So instead of laying in bed crying about my situation I got back up. I gave myself some time, did some other things, and then I did five Fitness Marshall videos. Normally I would do eleven but since I was having an off day I decided to just dance until I didn’t feel like it anymore. Five videos is still over 15 minutes so it was a good start. It wasn’t great but it was something.
The next morning I got up and looked for a workout to do, hoping to get it out of the way. Then I realized I still wasn’t entirely motivated so I decided to switch things up. I’m glad I did because it helped me realize I’ve hit a bit of a wall. Despite doing different videos, I’ve almost exclusively been working out with The Fitness Blender for over a month now. While their videos are great and varied, I think I’ve gotten a little bored. So it was time to mix things up. My mom mentione that she was going to go for a walk so I decided to do the same, chatting with her on the phone to make it go by faster.
An hour and forty five minutes later and we both got home.
We walked over 7 kilometres each according to our phones and while I didn’t come home dripping in sweat like I would have through a much shorter workout I still felt accomplished. Plus, getting out into the fresh air (even if it was a little foggy and bleak) definitely helped my mental state.
So I pushed forward into the rest of the week, deciding I was going to walk for at least an hour on my workout days instead of unhappily pushing myself through workouts while I’m in this funk. I’ll get back to doing something more than walking eventually of course but these walks have been my stepping stones towards that. It definitely helped that my mom was in town Tuesday and Wednesday; on those two days we walked 14,000 and 17,000 steps respectively. We also saw some neat places in Toronto that I’ll be talking about in my Sunday post. For now, here’s a preview of one of the places we ended up: Graffiti Alley.
While walking might not make me sweat my ass off like a HIIT workout does, it is still a good way to get up and moving, especially when walking as much as I have over the past few days. I may have jumped into some of those big step counts a little too quickly but my 16 hour days at Walt Disney World have prepared me well for walking off my feet so to speak.
All activity has its own worth and you just have to do what works best for you. But I think the real lesson I’ve taken from this one is that sometimes it is important to not be so hard on yourself.
I hope your weeks have all been going well, I hope you’re making strides to whatever goal you’re working for but if you’re like me and you feel like you’re taking a step back, I just want to leave you with a little piece of wisdom I read at the One of a Kind Show:
“Don’t look back, that’s not where you’re going.”